More knives anyone?

Here is another skinner. Same design as the little one but this one is a little bigger and has a purple heart and leapord wood handle.

Doing my part to deforest South America. But for real dont worry if they made toothpicks at of these exotic woods they would be a quarter a piece.

Haven't made a double edge since my second knife, thought I'd try again.

This just goes to show that the design doesn't always exactly match the conception.

Cold Hard Steel!

It seems most people's blogs are about their lives and feelings and families whereas my blog tends to be on whatever hobby I am currently fixated on. In keeping with that I present my newest and probably most dangerous hobby, knife making! Ta da!

Here is my first attempt. I made it from a file with an oak handle and brass pins. Files are good cause they are very good quality steel and are already vaguely knife shaped. They are bad because you can't file or drill a file cause they are too hard. So the first thing you need to do is... make fire! Are you seeing where this is appealing to me as a hobby?

So you make your fire and heat the steel up to about 800 F and then let it cool slowly and you have effectively de-tempered your steel and made it soft enough to work with. What good is a soft knife, you ask? I'm glad you brought that up. Time to make another fire! And this time a hot one! To put the temper back on you have to heat the steel back up to between 1500 and 1800 F and then quench it in oil. You know it is 1500 F because steel looses it magnatism at that temperature.

Now 1800 F is lung-searingly hot. I can not even describe how hot, although lung-searing is fairly descriptive so maybe I can. The first time I tempered a knife I used my Webber Grill and an air compressor, which I don't think was designed to take that kind of heat because, well because it kind of sagged. Melting a BBQ is no mean feat I assure you! So after that first try I built a forge.

I made my forge out of a brake drum from a school bus, what was left from my melted BBQ, some plumbing pipe, an old army cot, and vacuum cleaner which Silvia had no further use of.

an 1800 F piece of steel is hot enough to flash boil a gallon of dirty motor oil and immediately set it on fire.

After my first knif which a colleague of mine dubbed "the Yellowstone steak knife" I went with something a little more militant with my next attempt.

Not very practical, huh? Well I was still working the kinks out! My next couple of knives were made from welding bar stock because I was tired of spending fifteen bucks for a file and I thought that if I tempered the bar stock it would be OK. After I did a little more reading turns out that this is probably not the case and I made about four knives that prob won't hold an edge very good. Sorry if you are one of the people I gave one of those knives to. Please understand that at the time I gave you the knife it was the very best knife I had made at the time I gave it to you. Although I think I'm getting better with each one I make. In any case none of those knives were the type that would most likely be used on a daily basis anyway and having a durable edge is probably not the highest priority anyhow.

My next three knives I made from some rasps that farriers use to trim horse hooves. I really like using them because they are wider than machinist files so you can incorporate a hand guard in the design, they are good quality, and because I know a way awesome dispatcher who is dating a farrier and can get me them for free once they are dull! If you look, you can see the tell tale file marks (little lines and triangles) on the blade of some of these. I can work them completely out of the metal if I want to but I kind of like them sometimes.

Do you see the lines at the back edge of the blade?

Yes those are fossils I inlaid into the knife handle.

Here is my Latest Knife. I made it from an old skill saw blade. The handle is oak and elk horn with brass pins and I didn't stain or varnish the handle, just sanded it really fine (600 grit) and put some tung oil on it. I think it turned out pretty good.

So there you have it my latest faze. Im still having tons of fun with it and am just giving the knives away when I am done. (except the first two cause they are goofy and not gift worthy) I will probaly stop when it becomes work, I burn myself..or the house down, or Silvia looses patience with my spending. (I just ordered thirty dollars worth of exotic wood online) In the mean time Ill enjoy it while I can.

Random Thoughts

So I was at a movie yesterday when I see this fifteenish year old kid in the bathroom waving his hands in front of a wheel operated paper towel dispenser way longer than it would take anyone who has ever used the old time dispenser to figure out that waving would not be effective method of procuring a paper towel. It made me laugh that I had to step over and spin the little wheel for him and it made me think; something I would have dang near considered a miracle when I was fifteen has become so commonplace that this kid would not of thought to even try spinning the little wheel on the side. It also made me think that if I blog about this, it will sound like a "when I was your age blog" which pretty much says you are old..... I'm old. I know I only made this blog about two sentences when it should of been like five but that is how my random thoughts run in my head, needing very little punctuation inside there.

It snowed the other day in hometown like two and a half feet of the most beautiful sticky building snow you could want. The kind of snow that would keep me out so long my lips would turn blue and it would sting to run your hands under luke warm water. I send Brian out to play which he does but when I suggest building a snow fort or cave he looks at me like its to much work. I got the snow blower out and ran ever decreasing circles till we had a nice big pile and even start to dig out the entrance for him. He seemed excited about it now that he sees the vision and I leave him to the rest only to come out five minutes later and see him lying on his back throwing snow balls up in the air and letting them fall down and hit him in the face. (not that this activity would have been unappealing to me when I was a kid, but there is a fort to make...Hello?) You know when I was a kid (I know, I know) I once buried my trampoline. Buried the entire thing so we could do ground level flips Luke Walker style. Do you know how much work it takes to bury a trampoline? And we only did flips for like five minutes and counted the effort well worth it. I mean work in the pursuit of play was not work it was .....well, it was not work. Do you all remember building a fort? Me and my palls once demolished a chicken coop only to construct what looked like a smaller and more poorly constructed chicken coop but that was our fort! And the planning and the sweating and the talking about what we would do once the fort was up (no girls thank you very much) was the only thing about the whole activity that was fun, cause lets face it hanging out inside a tiny poorly constructed chickencoop isn't all that fun. It's sad in away that Brian and most kids as far as I can tell isn't really into that kind of stuff anymore. I guess that is what the digital age is. Remember when our parents said TV will rot your brains but now TV is the lessor evil when compared to video games and I remember my mom telling me about how when her mom was a kid the little novels was the current evil that parents were trying to wean their kids from. Now it is hard to find books that the kids love to read. I wonder if my grand kid will try to get his kids to play video games instead of wasting time (insert as yet unthought up future kid past time).

I got a new cat. I don't as a rule like cats but Nathan does and I guess the cat is OK if you judge on the curve for cat standards. Here is why I like dogs better.

When you make a sudden move and startle a dog it looks at you like, "what did I do wrong and how can I make it up to you, but in the end I trust you." While when you startle a cat it looks at you like ,"oh crap he is going to kill me, I knew this day would come, but I aint going easy, lets go bitch!" and when you give a dog a treat it looks at you like oh thank you for giving me some of your food while a cat looks at you like, why are you holding my food. And when you forget to feed a dog and it tries to remind you that its hungry by looking excited and spinning and making feints toward its dog dish and when you feed it it is thankful and you can tell it believes you had a really good reason for not feeding him on time. Cats look at you like, "I am fixin to eat something, and I don't want it to be your face but that is only because I am not convinced your face would taste all that good, and you have about thirty seconds to come up with an alternative."

I shot a printer today. I took my inspiration from Chelsea's excellent post about smashing her half a cell phone and one of the references to office space. So when our IT guy came in and switched out our great big printer I asked him if I could keep the old one. He seemed kind of suspicious like I was going to try to sell it on E-bay or something but when I told him I intended to shoot it he was OK with that. So I took the printer out and put fifty rounds of 40 SW into the side of it. What I found out is amazing. If a crazy guy comes to your workplace intending to shoot it up HIDE BEHIND THE PRINTER. I could not believe how well it could stop a bullet. My partner in crime put six rounds of .38 +p into it and it even stopped that. Only when we took out the shotgun and put three, 12 gauge one and half ounce rifled slugs into it did it give up the ghost. Another thing I learned was if you ever plan to shoot a printer you should take out the toner cartridge. I looked like a chimney sweep by the time I was done cleaning up the pieces.

This has been a collection of my random thoughts. Sorry its so poorly written, it is not fun editing random thoughts.

Every ones Kung Fu Fighten!

I need to quit training Brian up, one of these days he is going to whip his old man's butt! Look at the rage. I almost don't recognize him.

But really I am super proud of the little tyke. He has really put some effort into this.

What's new? What aint?!

Well it has been a while since I have put anything down here. Shelly has been relentless in trying to get me to update and I have finally bowed before her gale force prompting. There is so much change I feel I must just sum up Indigo style. (Buttercup marry Humperdink in little less than half an hour.....)

Since I last wrote- I have a new job, Silvia has a new job, Nathan started school, Brian went to new school, and we got a new cat! Lucy however still is Lazy, sheds a lot, and smells kind of funny so there is at least one constant.

I'm now working in the Jail again. It was a hard decision. I loved patrol but I loved the jail too so I took a promotion and made the move. Silvia is now working part time for the school district working with special needs children. Finally she has a job which doesn't demand every ounce of her energy. Brian is no longer an elementary student having moved on to intermediate school. He is doing really well all; As and B+s. Nathan started kindergarten and is super cute with his backpack and construction paper projects which he brings home and is so proud of. Our new cat's name is Max and Lucy is still sleeping having moved a total of eight feet in the last three hours to find a better nap spot.

Sorry it has been so long since I wrote. I will try to be better and I will soon post the much awaited second installment of my geek obsessions.

Nathans Monkey Ear

Our recent trip to Bear Lake was really great. Lots of sun, lots of fun, and lots of dutch oven action, mmmm dutch oven. The only lots that I didn't enjoy was the lots of mosquitoes. There was a ton of them. You could tell the stream had recently flooded and all over was undergrowth that you could tell had been standing water a week ago. They were thick. We went through five cans of repellent and we all got bit anyway at least ten times. Most of the bites weren't worth commenting on but Nathan got one that made us all laugh (even though we all felt sorry for him to).

We (mostly me) called him "Monkey Ear" for obvious reasons. At first he was like, "I'm not a monkey ear, Mom tell him to stop saying Monkey ear!" After a while though, you could hear him from the back of the car saying, "Mom, Brian is touching my Monkey ear."

The Perfect Axe Throw!...or how I shared a testosterone moment with my wife...or my battle of wits with a log (a more even match then you might think)

So I recently went on a camping trip with my family. I brought a small hatchet because we usually collect small dead-fall branches for kindling but usually end up buying firewood. When we arrived however, the campground had recently been clearing some of the overgrowth and we had some pretty good sized logs in our camp ground. Most of them were just to big to even think of tackling with my hatchet but there was one log that was probably eight or ten inches in diameter and about two and a half feet long that I thought I might be able to handle. Little did I know that my musings would be the start of an epic battle...

That's the log I had my eye on and that is

the hatchet I used in my first failed attempt.

I first tried with my hatchet and despite the tremendous force I am capable of mustering with my chicken arms it just sank in and didn't even think about splitting. I gave it up but it kept nagging at me and wouldn't give me peace. The next day we were in town to buy some bug spray and I came across a bigger kind of hatchet/axe hybrid, basically a hatchet with a longer handle. Now, I have a full size axe at home and I didn't really need the dumb thing but I wanted to lay into that log again. So I bought it. The rest of the day at the lake and in town was just wasted for me cause I wanted to get back to camp and kill the log that had defied me.

The second round went to the log as well. Same mighty swing, same solid thunk, and same unsatisfying lack of destruction. I let the log be for another day or so but it never really set right with me, giving up to a chunk of wood and I would occasionally go over and take another swing at it to no avail.

So the last day rolls up on us and the log remains unconquered. I decided to put my massive brain to good use and out think the log. I figgered the problem was that the log was to long and that a shorter log of the same diameter would give it up to me. I thought to myself that I should chop it in half and then try and split it. I wasn't sure if it was cheating or not but since this was a contest that was taking place entirely inside of my own head, there was not likely be a referee flagging me for an illegal chop.

So I turned my worthy opponent on its side and began to whale away with my mini axe/oversized hatchet until it looked like a pack of beavers on crank had invaded our campsite. Silvia commented that it was the last night and we had plenty of wood for breakfast (girls never understand stuff like this). I finally got the log in half and after I had recovered from the micro stroke I had given myself, looked to finally split it.

I was pretty sure that I could get it now and a wasted no time in tyring again. I was greeted by the same thunk and no split. To say I was frustrated was putting it mildly. I sat there looking at my axe buried in the log thinking of what I could do (shooting it, running it over, throwing it off a cliff...you know your basic Wile E. Coyote solutions) I got to thinking that now that the log didn't weigh seventy lbs I could lift it while still in the axe and whack the back of the axe against another log like you do when you hit a knot in a regular piece of fire wood.

By this time I had gotten Silvia's attention (she always seems to know when I am thinking about shooting something and I think she was hovering in order to keep my enthusiasm in check). Well when I picked the axe up with the log still attached she looked kind of quizzical. When I swung it around and gave it a whack on another log it seemed to make sense to her. When the log split in two and I let out a primal scream of triumph it seemed to kind of startle her (girls don't get primal screams of triumph as a rule either)

Well I split the other half in the same fashion and was beginning to quarter the halves when Silvia says she wants to try the backward axe whacking trick. So she sticks a quarter and then swings around and splits it. She looks very satisfied with herself and I suggest she try a primal scream. To my surprise, she lets rip a respectfully loud whoop and I whoop back at her and we grin at each other like a couple of goofs.

Well on a whim and in a fit of unjustified optimism I throw the axe at a stump across the fire pit. To my great surprise it sticks just perfectly! Well this really got my testosterone pumping and I whoop again and pump my fists and Silvia whoops again and then we hug each other real rough like almost a guy-like World Series home run hug. Well, the day before we had both gotten pretty good sunburns and we both kind of go owwee and whimper at the same time and this moment was so un-caveman like and contrasted from the last minute so much, that we both immediately bust up laughing uncontrollably.

Sweet axe throw, huh?