Things you should't say to a cop and some reasons why.

1. My taxes pay your salary.
a. Wonderful, see if you can get me a raise.
b. My taxes also pay my salary so I guess I get some say in this too and I say you are going to jail.
c. Every time I buy a gallon of milk or a hamburger my money is paying the salary of the people I am buying it from, never once have I thought that this fact entitles me to be ignorant.

2. Don’t you have something better to do than pull me over?
a. Yes, I do…and if you weren’t driving like a moron I could be doing it.
b. Our number one complaint, “you guys don’t do enough traffic enforcement and people drive crazy on my street.” Our number two complaint, “You guys gave me a ticket.” We can’t do number one without doing number two, sorry.
c. More people are killed in traffic accidents then violence. No, I don’t have anything better to do.

3. I know my rights!
a. People who say this never actually do know their rights, but I can assure you that I do…and probably care about protecting them more than you care about having them.
b. People who say this almost always just got done violating someone else’s rights.
c. People who are so worried about procedural misconduct from a Police Officer know that they have committed a crime and are hoping to shift the focus to some perceived error because they know that there is no other way they will get off.
d. All right guys, we do not have to read Miranda to every one we arrest, just the ones we wish to interrogate.

4. Why don’t you go get a doughnut?
a. I think I will, thank you!

5. You are the reason people hate cops!
a. You are the reason people need cops.
b. No one is happy to see me at their door. Either you are the victim of a crime and are having a bad day; or, you are a criminal and about to have one.
c. Nobody who has a deep need to be loved can do this job effectively. I have consoled myself to being unpopular.
d. Every one hates the police, until they need us.
e. Refer to 2b, we can’t make everybody happy and it’s a mistake to try.

6. I saw ________ on CSI, why don’t you try that?
a. CSI is for entertainment. It is not an instructional video on police work.
b. I saw top gun once, doesn’t mean I would give advice to a fighter pilot.
c. If you left your purse on the seat of the car and your window open, the bad guy can, and will, steal your purse without leaving one iota of evidence. We can not take fingerprints from air, there will be no “fibers” and DNA is not something people shed like dog hair.